your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
God I need to hump something, right now.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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