remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
