she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Your mouth is God's brothel.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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