i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
