I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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