brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
