You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
