better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
