What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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