ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
