Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
