between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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