So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
