i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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