I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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