i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
