I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize