it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
