he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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