i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
