My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
