Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
