Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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