You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She bit a glass in half.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize