The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Boobs speak an international language.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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