btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize