I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
