Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
