You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
