Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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