Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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