My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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