Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
