omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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