Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
