Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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