So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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