well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
birth control should be required to get into college
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
