i need an iv and a liver transplant
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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