I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
