this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
