You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
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