my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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