This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
