I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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