when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
