2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
