Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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