Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
