a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
NoShamevember. You game?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize