You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
