After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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