the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
