New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Bring me that man meat
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
