I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
