Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
