My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
