she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
