On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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