After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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