it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
