just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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