so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
