There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize