She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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