You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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