talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
