can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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