Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Randomize