porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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