No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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