The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
