he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize