Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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