She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
