And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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