we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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