I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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