"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
