Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
