i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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