I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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